Let us develop the R.S.V.P culture

Three years back, during my brother’s son’s wedding, we were sitting with the cook and planning the food menu. We were not very sure of how many will turn up and was finding it difficult to convey to the head cook, the number of expected guests, for the occasion. I was surprised at the way, the cook made an amazing calculation. He asked us, how many invitations did you print? We said 2000. Then he asked how many did you post and how many did you hand deliver? We said we had posted about 1500 and the rest we have hand delivered. He instantly made a mind calculation and told us, we can expect around 1000 people. We could not understand the logic behind his calculation, but the fact is more or else, it turned out to be right. Well, while I admire his level of competence gained over years of experience, I truly feel that it is not the right approach.

Many a times, the host is confused as to how many would attend the function and just makes a wild guess. He then either over prepares or underprepares. In both ways he is in a fix. If he over prepares he may end up wasting the food and if he has underprepared, he would be left in an embarrassing situation. Why should we leave the host in such a tricky situation? Why not help the host to plan, by confirming whether we will come or not come.

We quiet often get to see this phrase R.S.V.P in the bottom of few invitation cards. R.S.V.P is the abbreviation of a French term répondez s'il vous plait, which means, “Request for your Response”. The idea behind using this phrase in the invitation, is to ascertain who and all would be attending, so that the host can plan the Venue arrangement and food preparation accordingly.

When we see a phrase like that in the invite card, we are expected to confirm whether we would be attending or not attending. If we would not be attending, we can send a note or make a call and say, “Thanks for the invite, but sorry I will not be able to attend. Wishing the function all success”. In case we would be attending, again it is appropriate to send a note or make a call and say, “Thanks for the invite. I will be attending.I will be accompanied by ………………. and we expect to reach there by …. time.” This will give the host a great level of comfort, in preparing for the occasion. In this way, we save him a lot of guess work and make his work lot easier.

But the sad fact is, we seldom respond to this. To make it worse, we even promise we would come and end up not turning up. This ends up in excessive wastage of food. As the host is concerned that there should be ample quantity of food for all his guests, he always plans his preparation for a higher number of people. But when people do not turn up, it results in a huge wastage of food and resources.

When someone extends an invitation, I generally have the practice of saying either I would come or not come, based onmy prior travel plans or other appointments. But, then one of my family member told me, that is not appropriate to deny an invitation, as it would hurt the sentiments of the person who invites. He asked me to alternatively say, “I will try my best to come”. Still that does not make sense to me.It is just like, telling a lieusing a diplomatic approach. By creating a false anticipation, we are only losing the trust of others.

A survey says that in a city like Bangalore the annual amount of food wasted in weddings alone, is equivalent to 2.6 crore meals. Why not do our part to reduce this wastage. Why get someone to make a meal that we will not eat.

We need to cultivate the culture of responding to invitations. There are so many things we like to adopt from the Western world, why not learn this good practice.

Not just wedding occasions or birthday parties. There are many official meeting, social meeting and club meetings for which we receive an invite. Whenever there is a R.S.V.P, let us develop the courtesy to call or key in a line of acceptance or decline. By doing so, we not only save the host from undue anticipation, but also we help him save his money.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Dec 2013