Let us develop the R.S.V.P culture

Three years back, during my brother’s son’s wedding, we were sitting with the cook and planning the food menu. We were not very sure of how many will turn up and was finding it difficult to convey to the head cook, the number of expected guests, for the occasion. I was surprised at the way, the cook made an amazing calculation. He asked us, how many invitations did you print? We said 2000. Then he asked how many did you post and how many did you hand deliver? We said we had posted about 1500 and the rest we have hand delivered. He instantly made a mind calculation and told us, we can expect around 1000 people. We could not understand the logic behind his calculation, but the fact is more or else, it turned out to be right. Well, while I admire his level of competence gained over years of experience, I truly feel that it is not the right approach.

Many a times, the host is confused as to how many would attend the function and just makes a wild guess. He then either over prepares or underprepares. In both ways he is in a fix. If he over prepares he may end up wasting the food and if he has underprepared, he would be left in an embarrassing situation. Why should we leave the host in such a tricky situation? Why not help the host to plan, by confirming whether we will come or not come.

We quiet often get to see this phrase R.S.V.P in the bottom of few invitation cards. R.S.V.P is the abbreviation of a French term répondez s'il vous plait, which means, “Request for your Response”. The idea behind using this phrase in the invitation, is to ascertain who and all would be attending, so that the host can plan the Venue arrangement and food preparation accordingly.

When we see a phrase like that in the invite card, we are expected to confirm whether we would be attending or not attending. If we would not be attending, we can send a note or make a call and say, “Thanks for the invite, but sorry I will not be able to attend. Wishing the function all success”. In case we would be attending, again it is appropriate to send a note or make a call and say, “Thanks for the invite. I will be attending.I will be accompanied by ………………. and we expect to reach there by …. time.” This will give the host a great level of comfort, in preparing for the occasion. In this way, we save him a lot of guess work and make his work lot easier.

But the sad fact is, we seldom respond to this. To make it worse, we even promise we would come and end up not turning up. This ends up in excessive wastage of food. As the host is concerned that there should be ample quantity of food for all his guests, he always plans his preparation for a higher number of people. But when people do not turn up, it results in a huge wastage of food and resources.

When someone extends an invitation, I generally have the practice of saying either I would come or not come, based onmy prior travel plans or other appointments. But, then one of my family member told me, that is not appropriate to deny an invitation, as it would hurt the sentiments of the person who invites. He asked me to alternatively say, “I will try my best to come”. Still that does not make sense to me.It is just like, telling a lieusing a diplomatic approach. By creating a false anticipation, we are only losing the trust of others.

A survey says that in a city like Bangalore the annual amount of food wasted in weddings alone, is equivalent to 2.6 crore meals. Why not do our part to reduce this wastage. Why get someone to make a meal that we will not eat.

We need to cultivate the culture of responding to invitations. There are so many things we like to adopt from the Western world, why not learn this good practice.

Not just wedding occasions or birthday parties. There are many official meeting, social meeting and club meetings for which we receive an invite. Whenever there is a R.S.V.P, let us develop the courtesy to call or key in a line of acceptance or decline. By doing so, we not only save the host from undue anticipation, but also we help him save his money.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Dec 2013

The Likers Club

Facebook has changed the way we communicate and interact with friends. It has opened up vast opportunities to connect with old friends and also make new friends online. In this fashion, Facebook has enlarged our world to a great extent.

It is not something surprising today, for us to be more familiar with people whom we periodically interact on facebook, rather than our close set of friends and relatives, who are not on facebook. It is because a lot of sharing is happening in this virtual world, as compared to the real world. Those who are not in the list of our facebook contacts don’t get to know as much as our friends who are in facebook.

For instance, during the days when we were clicking photos in film roll camera, we anxiously waited for the photo to be processed and printed. We then put them on an album and when our friends or relatives, came home, we showed it to them and took pleasure in explaining each photo in detail. The people who viewed the photos also took a keen interest in knowing more about the event or place. But now, things have changed. You click the photo on your mobile phone camera, press the share button and in seconds it is on our facebook page. Within 10 seconds, you get a ‘like’ for the photo or a comment such as  ‘nice’ , ‘wow’ , ‘super’ from your facebook friend. This instant gratification, makes people happy and encourages them to share more and more of what is happening in their lives.

How often have you posted a message or photo, in your facebook page and eagerly waited to see how many ‘likes’ you get?  How happy where you when you see that you have got a number of ‘likes’, for your post? It is a common happening in everyone’s life. The more contacts in your facebook list, the more chances for you of getting more likes. So, people keep expanding the list of contacts by adding friends, friends of friends and so on.

The good part of facebook, is that the majority of facebook users, could be categorized as, “The Likers Club”.Likers are those who are not very active in posting, but whenever they see a post on their wall they make sure to click the “Like” button. Pressing the ‘Like’ button does not necessarily mean that they like the post. It could just be a way of acknowledging that they have seen the post. So when this happens, the person who made the post feels happy. The Likers are the cheer bringers to the facebook world.

I was wondering how this concept of LIKE, motivates people to share more about themselves with others. This led me to a realization that people crave for recognition and they do not seem to be getting enough of it from the real world. Facebook is in a way, passively satisfying this need and this has to a great extent influenced the number of people getting into this social world.

“Is it safe to make friends with online strangers? Why should we make friends with people whom we hardly know? Why do we need to create a virtual world of friends, when there are so many friends in our real world? These sought of initial apprehensions are swiftly fading away, as more and more people have started to enjoy being ‘liked’ and earn recognition on facebook.  The more they get recognized, the more they want to share and this keeps growing.When you ‘like’ someone’s post, then the probability of you getting ‘like’ on your post to goes up. This is based on the law of  “you scratch my back and I will scratch your back”.

Now imagine extending this likers club from the virtual world to a real world. Would the world not be a much happier place to live in?While we are happily sharing our ‘likes’ on the virtual world, what is stopping us from expressing our ‘likes’ in the real world?

How often have we told our mother or spouse that we liked the delicious food that they have made for us? How often have we told our children, that we like their polite behaviour, in a social gathering? How often have we told someone; I like your smile; I like your dress; I like your style; I like the way you walk; I like the way you express your thoughts, or something of that sort.

It is not that we don’t like, but we rarely express our like.  We are quick to express our dislike for something, even if not by words, atleast by our instant behaviour, but when it comes to expressing our like for something, we are not so quick.

Thanks to Facebook, that it has brought in the culture of expressing our LIKE. Let us not limit this LIKE culture, only to our facebook circle but extend it to our near and dear ones. It would not only make them glad, but also motivate them to do things better.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Nov 2013

Free Food for All

The Indian National Food Security Bill 2013 which was passed at the Lok Sabha quiet recently aims at providing food grains at highly subsidized prices to approximately 2/3rd of India's 1.2 billion people, i.e about 80 million people. This ambitious bill is estimated to take away more than 1 Lakh Crore Rupees of our tax payers money every year.

As I was pondering on this, I had mixed thoughts as to how good or how bad this idea is. I personally felt, I have not gone to bed with an empty stomach and therefore I do not deserve to comment, as to how much these schemes are helping a poor man. However my concern was if food is going to be fed to each person's mouth, from where will the motivation to work come?

Abraham Maslow - a famous psychologist best known for his theory of the “hierarchy of needs” states that a person's motivation is in direct relation to his needs. He states food as the basic need and a primary motivation of man to work. Right from the Stone Age, man has toiled hard to survive by hunting and gathering food. This basic instinct to go in search of food has played a vital role in human development. In this new scenario, the Government is going to make sure that the food reaches every person's mouth without any effort. Now the question is, “Where is the motivation for man to work?”

Shortage of labour is a common problem, we hear everywhere, which means that there is literally no unemployment. It is just that people prefer to be unemployed as they are getting more than enough at the comfort of their home. To work or not to work, has become a matter of choice rather than a matter of necessity. People have come to think that taking care of their personal needs is the Government's responsibility and not their own. With less than 3% of country's population paying Income tax, the rest of the countrymen are enjoying the benefits. If people are going to be happy with this state of mind, where then can we find a spirit of enterprise? Where do we find the scope for our country to become a developed nation? This is a truly pathetic situation.

I am aware that poverty in the country is real. There is no

denying that. It is a plight to see people not even getting a square meal a day. According to a Planning Commission estimate for the year 2012-13, the percentage of Indian population, who are Below Poverty Line (BPL) is about 22%. The country has toiled really hard over the years, to reach this level from the BPL level of 50% in 1990's. Now having risen so far, the Government should take initiative to develop competences, build infrastructure and generate jobs for this 22% of our population. Instead, the Government plans to bring 67% under the Food bill, which indicates that we are putting our economy on a reverse gear. In others words, instead of freeing more people from the clutches of poverty, we are welcoming more people into the circle of dependence.

Election year politics is nothing new to us. Politics and hunger eradication campaigns, have been a winning combination, since time immemorial. No matter which

Government, has come to rule they have played this arena safe, so that they do not rub on the wrong side of the vote bank. However, looking at the extent to which the government has gone with the Food Security Bill at a time when the economy is battling with slowdown is quite shocking. Our current account deficit is approaching nearly $90 billion, trade deficit has kept widening, the rupee is sliding to new lows. At this moment there is an urgent need to cut down expenditure, but the food bill has made all talks about fiscal consolidation sound ridiculous. Free food may sound as a good political strategy but by doing so we are breeding a nation of lazy citizens.

Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Oct'2013

Embrace Feedback, Ensure Grouth

 I don't watch much TV. However, there are a few programmes I like to watch. One such programmes is the popular Airtel Super

Singer on Vijay TV.

For those of you who are not aware of this programme, it is a Singing competition based TV show, which goes through many

rounds and levels with elimination at different levels. The programme stretches to almost a year and culminates to a grand

finale, where one of the participants gets to win the prestigious“Airtel Super Singer” title and a big prize.

I like to watch the programme, not just because I am fond of listening to songs, but it is because I like the way the panel of judges give comment or feedback about the performance, to the participants. What we usually find in this programme is the

feedback starts with a big dose of appreciation on the participant's strong areas. Then they gently touch upon the weakpoints .The new terminology to describe one ' s we ak point s i s “Ar e a s for improvement” which is a positive phrase, to use while giving feedback. Amazingly it works well, because it does not hurt a person's ego. The areas of improvement could be the voice pitch, squeakiness of the voice, breathe control, pronunciation or whatsoever. The work of the judges is to

motivate the participants to perform better and at the same time, bring to their awareness their shortfalls. The feedback given is often very specific, laser clear and sharp. This type of specific feedback gives ample opportunity for the participant to improve on those areas. And the feedback again ends in a positive note. The best part is they give this feedback in a soft and caring tone, with a warm smile. What I have interestingly observed is that the participants who take this feedback seriously and work

on it, often make it to the top 10. Also, it is truly amazing

to see that some of the participants, who are not so good

at the entry stage of the competition, eventually transform themselves into excellent singers, by making conscious effort to change or improve on the areas identified as areas of improvement.

I am a member of learning organization called Toastmasters. Toastmasters is all about practicing public speaking in front of a small group of audience, who are fellow members. At the end of the speech, one of the members evaluates the speech. Here too the typical sandwich technique feedback is adopted. So, what is this sandwich technique? Like a sandwich which has the spicing filling in between and two bread slices at the side.

The feedback starts with positive comments, then talks about the areas of improvement and again closes with a positive comment. This type of feedback, has really helped members of our club to become better speakers. Feedback is not criticism. There is a big difference between plain negative criticism and well-intended

genuine feedback. Therefore when someone gives you a feedback, never take it as criticism. Never take it personal. Take it on your performance. Feedback is a way of appraising your performance. Feedback is necessary for growth. Believe me, not many people take active interest in you to point out your mistakes. Be thankful to them, rather than condemning them. People who try to defend themselves when feedback is given to them, lose the opportunity to learn and grow. When we tend to reject feedbacks or justify our point, even the people who are genuinely interested in our growth, may stop giving feedbacks, fearing not to hurt us.

So, next time when someone gives you a feedback, be open to hear. Ask them to be more specific, as to what they think could be improved. Find out what they felt was good and what they felt that you could have done better. This will give scope for you to improve upon yourself. Even if you are doing it well, you can see how you can better your best. Remember, perfection is always a moving target. Be willing to embrace feedback and growth will be willing to embrace you.

Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Sep'13

Keep the Promise you made to the child within you

25th June 2013, is a day for me to remember for it was the day, I met one of the most amazing person on this planet. His name is Nik Halik. He addressed a large gathering in Chennai and I was thoroughly inspired on hearing his life story and felt that I should share atleast a glimpse of what he shared, with you all.

Nik is an Aussie born Greek. His parents migrated from Greece to Australia, to make a living. His father was a truck driver and his mother a school teacher. Nik was the last of the 4 siblings and his life was confined to a small room in his house till the age of 10, owing to some illness. During these years, he had no formal schooling. All he read was his favourite comics Tin Tin and often kept referring to the Britannica Encyclopedia. Nik,like most of the small children was very imaginative. He often used to look at the moon through the window of his small room and used to tell himself, one day I will go and walk there.

At the age of 8, Nik made a list of 10 goals that he would achieve in his life time (all inspired by his favorite hero, Tin Tin). His goals were'nt small. It was as big as his imagination. It looked more like crazy ideas rather than goals to be achieved, but he decided that he will pursue them all. His 10 goals were: to be a rock star, to be a millionaire, to own houses in exotic locations in the world, to travel at least 100 countries, to run with the bulls in Spain, to climb the world's tallest mountains, to go under the sea and have lunch at the sunken ship Titanic, to be an astronaut, to live in a space station and finally to walk in the moon.

At the age of 17, Nik left the comfort of his home with just one suitcase, a guitar and one way flight ticket to USA, in his quest to make his dreams come true. As one of his goals was to become a Rock star, once he got there he joined a rock band and soon achieved the status of a rock star.

In the meantime, he started making smart investments in share market and real estates. He became one of the youngest millionaires in the country and achieved yet another goal.

The next goal on his list was to become an astronaut. Nik

had myopia and it was not possible for someone with a

vision problem to enroll for the space programme. So he

was looking for a way out. Those were the days, when

there were no laser surgeries. He came to know of a latest

yet complicated surgery, to correct the vision problem.

The surgery was considered very risky because in case the

surgery fails, the person will lose his eye sight forever. Still his passion to be an astronaut made him to take the risk.Nik underwent the surgery and luckily the surgery wassuccessful and his vision problem was rectified. Next came the obstacle of his academic qualification. It was not possible for him to embark into a space programme in the USA, with his academic background. So he approached the USSR and they said, if a civilian has to enroll for the space programme, it would cost 3 million US dollars, which was non refundable in the event of the person not passing the health checks. He took a bold decision and went through it, facing all odds and came out of it successfully. He finally went to space.

Similarly, he went about achieving each goal he had set at

the age of 8, one by one. Now at the age of 44, with 8 goals down in the list, he has just 2 more to go. In addition to the list of goals, Nik has been doing many amazing feats, which is far beyond our imagination. It would not be an exaggeration to call him a “Real life Superman”.

One exceptional quality of Nik that differentiates him

from others was that he was never willing to take NO for

an answer. He was so much determined that he

negotiated his way through any obstacle he faced. These

lines, said by Nik were what impressed me the most. He

said “I made a list of promises to a child within me and it is my duty to keep up the promises. I can cheat the child by saying it is not practically possible, the systems are not in favour, the law does not permit it or whatsoever, but my inner child will die disappointed. I do not want that to happen. All our life, we live to please others but if we do not live to fulfill our own passion, we will end our life on a frustrating note.”

Nik likes to call himself a Thrillionaire, because he loves to live his life filled with thrill. He says, “Many people die at the age of 30 and get buried at 90” by which he means by fearing to take chances in life, people live like a dead man. His life philosophy is, “Live with passion and dare to dream, make your life an epic extraordinary adventure”

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Aug'13

Discover the Genie within

In one of the friendly chat I had with my friend, we talked about how we human beings have lost on our innate strengths, in the process of becoming excessively dependent on technology.

She said, “It is because of the concept of pen and paper, that we have lost our innate potential to remember and recall. We take down notes, for the want of referring back to them in case we forget it. Instead, if we choose to focus our mind and listen attentively to something, with the belief that our brain can record all that is being said and be recalled anytime we need it, our brain can do so. But when we do not have faith in our own innate capabilities, we depend on a backup system, like the pen and paper the backup systems, which takes over control. I felt this is true. If we look at the way how the great seers of the past transferred their knowledge from one generation to the next generation, it was through oral rendition. The Vedic scriptures composed between 1700 and 1100 BC were also said to be passed on by this method. It is only after a certain period, a portion of it got transferred to Ollaichuvadi (Palm Leafs). It is a proof that it is possible.

Consider this: With the advent of calculator, we have lost our ability to do mental arithmetic of even simple calculations. With advent of computer, we have lost our capacity to store and recall data. All our knowledge has been fed into the computer and is made available to us at a press of a button. This comfort of being able to outsource our physical and mental work has made us technology dependent.

We are all aware that we human beings have a natural immune system, that serves as a health defense mechanism. But how far do we trust it? A saying goes, “It takes 7 days to cure cold without medicine, but it takes just a week to cure with medicine.” Though this may sound funny, this is the truth. Our body has the innate ability to fight the disease, but we in a hurry for quick cure, choose to go for medicine. Once medicine becomes our back up system, our body loses its innate strength of immunity.

This excessive dependence on technology has in a great way locked our innate potential. The Western culture is in one way responsible for this. The key differentiator between Western culture and Eastern culture is that the Eastern culture is 'human centric' whereas the Western culture is 'technology centric'. The Eastern culture relies on the infinite human potential, whereas the Western culture believes in finding an easier way of doing things, and therefore focuses on technology development. Western culture, no doubt has made life easy. It has eased the work load of every human being right from the home maker, the office goer, the factory worker and the farmer. But at the same time all these inventions have weakened us in terms of trusting our own innate abilities.

As human beings, we are blessed with vast amount of innate strength, physically and mentally but we do not even use a fragment of it.

The brain is often called a super computer, for the simple reason that its processing power is about 100 million MIPS (Million Instructions Per Second) and its memory storage capacity to something closer to around 2.5 peta bytes ( million GB).

Our body structure is so precisely engineered and built, that it can handle enormous amount of work load, which is out of proportion to our body weight. The Olympic record proves that a weight lifter weighing 56 Kgs can lift a weight of 305 kgs, which is almost 6 times his own body

weight, which logically sounds impossible.

We have been amazed, as to how Pyramids were built as early as 2500 BC, in the days when there were no equipment to carry such massive stone blocks to such great heights. These types of herculean tasks were possible because man trusted his innate potential.

In short our mind and body are capable of doing much more than what we think. It is just we do not have faith in our innate abilities. This lack of faith in our innate potential, has led us to trust technology rather than our own selves. Let us take the time to realize and understand our innate abilities and develop trust in it. Next time when you face a challenging situation, don't ask, “Can I?” instead say, “I can” because, you really can.

Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan

Article Dated July 2013