I had the opportunity to attend one of the programmes
of Mr.Marshall Goldsmith, the author of the popular book “What got you here,
won’t get you there”. This book talks
about how people who have achieved great level of success become complacent at
a point of time, when they become closed to feedback. Having tasted continued
success over a considerable period of time, they tend to believe that they have
mastered their art and can never go wrong. This is where they get into
trouble. They start to get the feeling
that of “I Know it all” and this could cause huge damage to them. So, he advised that no matter what height you
reach in life, be genuinely interested in getting feedback, because feedback is
the best and most economical mechanism available to periodically evaluate
ourselves and improve upon our work.
Marshall doesn’t stop there. He takes it to the next
level and talks about something called FEED FORWARD. While feedback is about
looking back at the past and finding out what went right and what went wrong,
Feed forward is about asking questions to people, even before an event occurs.
It is continuous evaluation of yourself and your work. The feed forward
technique is done by following these 8 steps.
Ask – Listen – Think – Thank - Respond -
Involve – Change - Follow up.
For example: You just randomly go and ask someone in your family, your office or
team, “Hi, what do you think I need to improve upon? How do you think, I am
progressing in business? Do you foresee or anticipate a problem in my way of
doing things? When you ask such proactive questions, there is a possibility of
people opening up to you, with their thoughts and opinions and here is where
the most challenging part lies. You should be absolutely open to hear what they
say, with genuine interest rather than brushing away their comments as
inappropriate or that is not for me.
Here is where he introduced a new terminology, which
caught my attention. He said “Don’t
punish the messenger”. What he meant by this was that when someone makes a
negative comment or a criticism, don’t get angry with them, instead be grateful
and thank them, because they are the ones who dare to pin point your flaws. By
getting into a justification mode or getting defensive, you are not
safeguarding yourself rather you are becoming susceptible to impending
danger.
A simple yet powerful example, he shared to describe
it, was this: Let us assume you are driving the car with your wife by your side
and she keeps telling you watch your speed, it may be irritating to you, but
ultimately she is only trying to help you and therefore you need to understand
the genuine intention, rather than getting angry. If you brush off, what she
says by reciprocating with statements like, “Mind your business, I know what I
am doing; “Don’t teach me driving, I am a better driver than you” you are only
losing out on a valid input. Moreover, this type of attitude will make people
stop pointing out flaws to you, as they don’t want to be shouted back. Instead
if you say, “Oh, I am sorry. Thank you for pointing out. I was not aware. I
shall slower the speed”, then you are showing them that you genuinely care for
their opinion. By doing so you make them feel that you value their opinion and
they would be willing to point out your mistakes, without fear of being
punished.
Many of us have this tendency to “punish the
messenger” because we think they don’t deserve to comment upon what we are
doing. These messengers could come in the form of a friend, a spouse, parent,
our children, a colleague or even a
floor level employee. No matter who says it, if we always have an eye to
see and understand the other person’s point of view, we would gain a new
perspective which would be of immense help to us.
Of course, it doesn’t sound pleasant to listen to
critical comments. But if we start to look at it as constructive criticism, we
would be better prepared to face the challenges, rather than being comfortable
in a world of praise and then finally waking up to a day of shock. So let us be
open to feedback and make sure that we don’t punish the messenger, because by
punishing them we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable position.
Happy Reading,
D. Senthil Kannan
Article Dated May 2015
