Fire Lighters Vs Fire Fighters

As a training organiser of an Outbound training programme for a group of college students, I went to   Thenmala Eco Tourism, in Kerala. This Eco Park has different zones pertaining to different interests, such as Adventure Zone, Leisure Zone, Deer Park, Butterfly Garden and so on.

We started with our visit to the Adventure Zone, which has a number of adventure activities like flying fox, river crossing, rock climbing, mountain biking, pedal boats, spider nets, free fall, rope bridge etc. All students were excited and many of them tried their hands on different activities.

One such activity was called the Spider net. The activity is about climbing a crisscrossed rope net which was hung almost vertically, and one has to walk up the net, stepping on each rung of the rope, to reach the top. The nature of the activity is not all that risky, but not that easy too. It needs some stamina and will power, to climb up. While a number of students were happily engaged in the activity, one student was hesitating to do that, though she seemed interested. Observing her, I could realise what was stopping her from not venturing into the activity. It was her own excessive body weight. Inevitably the mental block and fear associated with it was visibly seen. I could sense a disappointment in her, for not being able to engage in the activity.

I gently asked her, “Don’t you want to try this”. She said, “I want to, but I am not sure if I will be able to make it. I am afraid, that I may fall down or the net would pull off”. I told her that the activity is quiet safe and encouraged her to try. After getting a little reassurance from me, she gathered some courage and embarked on the activity. From the time, she started I kept giving comments like, “Good”, “Keep it up”, “You are doing great”, “Just a little more to go”, “You can do it” and so on. Within a few minutes, I was amazed by what happened. Step by step, she made it to the top, though with some difficulty. As she reached the top, I could see the blush in her face, of having accomplished something great. I felt happy for her.

After getting down from the activity, she told me, “No one has ever encouraged me, like this. Whenever I want to try something of this sort, everyone around me discourages me by saying, ‘You cannot do this’ or ‘This is not for you’. You were the first one to say, I can do it. I wanted to prove your words right and so I did not give up. She thanked me profusely from her heart.

I was overwhelmed with her words. What I had done was a very little thing, but the impact it created in her was immense. I was glad that I have made someone’s day. It was indeed a good feeling to know, that I had been instrumental in helping someone overcoming their mental block. It gave me a first-hand experience of realizing, what motivation can do to someone.

This experience made me to ponder over this thought: How often do we discourage people when they are trying something new? It happens consciously or unconsciously an umpteen number of times. Though we may do so, out of our genuine concern for them, most often it becomes a stumbling block for their growth. Our own fears or preconceived notions of life, when thrust upon others, cripples them.

If you observe closely, you would notice that there are predominantly two types of people. One are the fire fighters, who light up the spark in us and other is the fire fighters, who put off the spark in us.

Ask yourself, am I a fire lighter or a fire fighter.  If you are a fire lighter, it is great. If you are a fire fighter, then kill the inner instincts of discouraging others by your words. By being a little mindful of what we say, we can make the shift.

We play many roles in our life, such as a spouse, a parent, a teacher, a friend, a sibling, a relative or whatsoever and we have a significant influence in their lives. So, whatever role we play, wherever we go, let us decide to be afire lighter, who kindles the spark in others and help them to overcome their limitations. By being a fire lighter, we would be doing a world of good, to our near and dear ones.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Mar 2014