A dozen resolutions for this New Year

It has become a fad to say, let your worries last as long as your New Year resolutions, which sarcastically hints that invariably all New Year resolutions are short lived or soon broken. Well, it is quiet true in many cases and it is really disheartening when our New Year resolution end unfulfilled.

If you observe closely at a New Year resolution it is typically about stopping something old or starting something new. It may be like, you want to give up a bad habit, such as drinking, smoking etc from the start of the New Year or it may be something like you wanting to inculcate a new habit from the beginning of the New Year, like doing a daily exercise or sitting to meditate for few minutes every day. Whatever it may be, it all calls for a disciplined effort. When it comes to disciplining ourselves, it goes without saying that we need follow a fixed monotonous routine. Whatever is monotonous soon gets boring. The energy and optimism with which we created the resolution slowly fades away, as days go by and as other new interesting things come up in life, we tend to lose focus. It is here we feel an urge to take a break and as an end result our New Year resolutions get broken. And once we break the resolution, we never gather the courage to start all over again.

Well, I was just wondering of what better way there could be to make our resolutions work and an idea popped up in my mind.  I asked myself, why a New Year resolution should only revolve around starting something new or stopping something old. Why not it be something to do with doing something current, which we like to do, but never find the time to do.

It is quiet common that all of us have a lot of unfulfilled wishes and desires, but for some reason or other we have been putting it off for a later time.  We wait for the right time or right moment to do it and then later end complaining, that we could never find the time.

For example, I have a lot of pending wishes. There are books I wish to read, old movies I have been wanting to watch,places I have been wanting to visit, programmes I have been wanting to attend, skills I have been wanting to develop, friends I have been wanting to spend time with and so many other things. But because I don’t consciously allot a time for it, it never happens. It continues to be a moving target. So, I was looking at this idea of having an assortment of resolutions, which can be accomplished within a year, rather than having just one resolution.

We could probable resolve to do a bouquet of things, rather than just sticking to one BIG resolution.This makes it more easily achievable and it also would give us a satisfaction of having done many thing in the year. For example, it could be something like:

·        4 books, I will read this year

·        2 new skills I will develop this year

·        2 new places, I will see this year

·        2 family vacations, I will take this year

·        One friends reunion I will initiate this year

·        Watch one old movie every month

·        Watch a specific programme on TV every week (either live or recorded)

This is rather easy to achieve, if we take a little conscious effort. Even, if for some reason, we are not able to accomplish all, we will still get to accomplish majority of them, which will make our year more fulfilling.

I am not sure, how brilliant the idea is or how effective it would be, but something I am planning to try out this year. I invite you to join me in this experiment and let us see how we much we have been able to accomplish at the end of the year.

Let this New Year, help us realize not just one but a dozen resolutions and make this New Year 2015, truly beautiful.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Jan 2015

Before and After

One of the common advertising strategies marketers use is the “Before and After” strategy. Probably you would have come across many such advertisements. For example, companies who sell weight loss product such as weight loss supplements, depict the effectiveness of their product by offering testimonies of people who have used it and lost weight. Generally these advertisements portray the photo of an obese person (before using their product) and another photo of the same person who now looks slim (after using their product) . Similar advertisements can also be found for hair growth promoters, pimple removal cream and so on.

So, this “before and after” strategy is something that easily catches the attention of the audience. Now let me refer this to the context of effectiveness of some of the training programmes I attend. Because most of the training programmes, almost adapt the same strategy. The programme promises that at the end of the programme your life will transform to something fantastic, unimaginable, amazing etc.

I keep attending a number of training programmes, periodically as I aspire to be updated with new concepts. Quiet recently, I had the opportunity to attend an event titled “Achievers Conference” which happened in Bangalore.  The conference had an expert panel of speakers, including motivational speakers, subject experts, book authors, trainers and the like. The crowd puller for this event was the author of the bestselling book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, Robert Kiyosaki.  However, in the panel of speakers were also others, who were not as prominent as Robert Kiyosaki, but were experts in their own field.

Their speeches did create an impact among the audience. All the speakers invariably used the same strategy, which I am about to elaborate. They started with their early life of how poor they were or how much of difficult time they had come across and then talked about a defining moment in their life that dramatically changed their life for good, and how their life has been transformed ever since. As they talk about this WOW moment of their life and when the audience are totally enthralled, they gently push in this desire amidst the audience by saying. “You too can achieve this level of success, if you sign up for my upcoming programme, where I will be teaching you the techniques I adopted to achieve this level of success”. With this they end making an announcement of the programme cost and special discounted offer, if they sign up immediately.

These type of programmes that they offer, are generally very highly priced. However, these speakers sound so convincing, that at the end of their speech the audience are literally running to the sign-up counter with their wallets or cheque book, to book a seat.

Well everyone is looking for a breakthrough in their life and it is natural for us to be tempted to believe that the breakthrough in our life is going to come by attending this particular programme.The speakers are also aware of this and that is why their programmes sell like hot cakes.

Well, I am not saying that these programmes don’t work, but it is wise to consider some pointsbefore we enrol for any such programmes.

Firstly, we need to understand that, what works for one may not work for someone else. So, what worked for the speaker may not work for us. It depends upon our level of passion, commitment, availability of time and resources, family support and many other factors, which are needed to make it a reality.

Secondly, in any such programme there are two parts. The first part is the learning part i.e attending the programme and understanding the techniques and the second part is the doing part i.e what we do with what we learnt in the programme. Here is where the glitch is. Quite often, with passage of time and amidst our other priorities, our enthusiasm tends to fades away. Then we just blame that the programme didn’t work, but most often the reality is that, we did not take the extra effort to make the programme work for us.

Thirdly, it all depends upon how much we immerse ourselves in the chosenactivity. We should have fun doing it, otherwise sooner or later, it would become a stress and ultimately, we would give up. So, it is important to find out how well this programme will align with one’s passion. If it aligns, I am sure, they would discover their breakthroughmomentof their life. If not, it is just more time and money wasted.

So, never get carried away by others words or promises. Your world is very different from their world.  Don’t do something, just because everyone else is doing it. Take the time to discover who you really are and what type of work, truly fascinates you and then put your heart and soul into it.  And you are sure to discover true success and happiness.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Dec 2014

My Bali Experience

As you may be aware, PALMS has been periodically organising business tours, coinciding with some important trade fair to select destinations with the idea of helping local businessmen to enhance their business horizonand update them on the latest trends in the trade and industry.

I personally believe a lot of learning, truly happens outside a classroom setting. So no matter how much information we may be able to access on the internet or how much of classroom training we attend, going out and seeing the world with our own eyes, adds a different perspective.

Attending a trade fair is a good way to meet many businessmen of a country, at a single point.  A trade fair serves as an index of the business potential that exists in a particular country. With this in mind, we set out to Indonesia this year, as a team of 13 delegates to visit the Trade Expo Indonesia at Jakarta. What makes our tours special is that we add an element of fun to our tour by thoughtfully including a leisure destination, so that the participants find it as a welcome break from their business routines. So, when it came to Indonesia,the obvious choice was Bali.

I have heard a lot of Bali. I am aware that it is one of the favourite holiday destinations. However, it is only when I visited Bali, I knew why so much tourist flock down here. Bali is truly a beautiful place, with exotic beaches, sea sports, beautiful architecture, magnificent  temples, greenery and orchids, busy shopping streets,  aesthetically designed hotels, cultural parks, entertainment shows , a variety of international cuisine, 1000’s of spa’s, vibrant night life and more.

Indonesia is a cluster of over 17,000 islands and is the 4^th most populous country in the world. It is predominantly a Muslim country, however there is a 3% Hindu population. And surprising this 3% of Hindus seem be concentrated in Bali. In Bali 90% of the population are Hindus.

We had the opportunity to visit the Bali Museum which is set in an old Hindu temple. This place is no more a temple, but a tourist attraction which has become a scenic point of stone architecture where people come to take wedding and portrait photographs.

Later in the evening we went for a cultural show called, “Devdan Show” which depicts the culture of this country by way of dance and music. It was a scintillating performance, which left us awestruck.

We also visited a Tanah Lot temple, which is on a seafront with a mesmerizing view. As I was talking to a street vendor near this temple, I was amazed to see how much respect the local people have for the religion. The rituals from country to country may vary, but the faith they have in the religious practices is immense. The local guide Mr. Pak Sukarsawho accompanied us, was a Hindu and so he was able to share with us a lot about the rituals and practices that they follow. It was indeed interesting to hear that.

In the entire trip, what hit me most was this incident. On our return from Bali, as we went in for the check in at the airport, the way we were greeted by the staffs in the check in counter was unimaginable. The ladiesin the desk followed this ritual. They gotup from their chair, greeted the passenger with a Namaste gesture , received the passport and ticket, sat down to proceed with the check in formality and  again rose up to give the boarding pass and passport and end with a Namaste gesture. This they did for every passenger, tirelessly with a smile on their face. WOW! What an attitude, I told myself. There could be no better way to feel respected and honoured as a guest of this country.

Parallely, some questions sweeped my mind. When people abroad are following this Indian Hindu culture, why is that we in India are hesitant to practice this. Why are we not proud of our culture? Why do we subordinate our culture to western culture? Why is that we have lost the innate sense of belonging to a country with rich traditions? I was just clueless. It was just another learning for me, in my life journey.

With happy memories we returned home. Truly speaking, we did not have enough time to enjoy the beauty of Bali. There is so much to see and experience.  Bali is not just a place to see, but a place to be explored. Bali is an ideal destination for anyone and everyone irrespective of age. Whether it is honeymooners, families, friends, retired people, adventure traveller, sports lovers, businessmen or whosoever, I am sure they would certainly come back more refreshed and young, just like we did!!!

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Nov 2014

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

One of the things that created a sensation through social media quite recently is the Ice Bucket Challenge, which involves dumping a bucket of ice water on someone's head to promote awareness of the disease Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS).  Just when people across the globe were pouring tonnes of ice on their heads through the ice bucket challenge, a bunch of youngsters in Hyderabad city came out with an idea of Rice bucket challenge towards feeding the needy.

Quiet Interesting! The trends of the modern world, in creating a hype even around a social awareness campaign makes it interesting and catches the public attention.This is the way,we can get the younger generation interested in something. Traditional methods don’t seem to work.The idea of challenge excites people. It triggers the adrenaline rush and people perform to their maximum potential.There are so many popular TV shows, based on the concept of challenging to do something extraordinary or daring to do something weird.There is a thrill and sense of accomplishment, attached to these type of events.

While these type of externally stimulated challenges are interesting, these could just be a fad and may not be long lasting. Whereas, if we need to bring about a sustainable positive change we need to look into the possibility of stimulating internal challenges.This is something all of us can do. Let us say we need to discipline ourselves on certain areas, rather than holding on to it as just asa wishful thinking we can convert it as a challenge we give to ourselves.These type of internal challenges, when accomplished may not win the recognition or appreciation of the world around us, but it will sure be a morale booster to our own self esteem.

Challenges are not the big resolutions that we make on a New Year eve. They are just small targets we keep setting for ourselves day in and day out, and feel a sense of pride when we accomplish it. It is these small accomplishments that make us feel worthy of being able to achieve something bigger in life. Just for an example, here is a typicallist of some of the challenges, I have given to myself.

·        To wake up at 5.30am, every morning no matter at what time I go to bed.

·        To go for a 45 minute walk as a part of my fitness regime.

·        To reach my target weight of 75kgs through exercise and diet plan.

·        To overcome my weakness of poor handwriting and making it legible.

·        To write an “Inside Out” article for PALMS PLUS every month.

If I don’t accomplish any of these, nobody is going to question me, as to why I have not done it, but I take it as a sense of personal integrity. When I fail in any one of these, I fall before my own eyes. And it hurts.

I believe that by integrating such type of internal challenges in our life, we can make our life not only interesting, but also rewarding. The rewards are in the form of developing a healthy life style and inculcating somegood habits that would last a life time.

Here is one challenge, I gave to myself quiet recently. I asked myself, why not I share a quick review of the android apps I use on my mobile phone with my WhatsAppcircle of friends.  I felt that it would be of use to many of my friends, who use an android phone. So, I decided to write a brief note of some of the apps, that I found useful andstarted sending it out as aWhatsApp message with a prefix “App of the day”, for the next 31 days at a stretch. It was not a pre-planned idea. It started just like that. No one asked me to do it. There was no compulsion. There was no obligation. There were no rewards for doing it, neither anypunishments for not doing it. It was just a thought in my mind and I decided to put this little pressure on myself. The result of this challenge, I gave to myself is an article in this issue titled“31 Useful Android Apps”.

When we challenge ourselves on something or other, it not only makes us more competent, but also helps us to become more confident.Challenge yourself and enjoy the rewards of your own challenges!

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Oct 2014

Mindless Forwarding

With the advent of Facebook and WhatsApp, we all seem to have become instantly more knowledgeable as we receive a high dosage of information on our mobile phones, from a variety of sources, which includes so many text messages and multimedia messages. Call it forwarding, tagging or sharing, there is such an overload of information that we hardly find the time to go through all these forwards. However, this is the trend and we need to learn to cope with it.

As I was trying to figure out why people are so keen on sharing, I realised that all of us have innate need to keep in touch with our friends and most of us find these Medias helpful to serve the purpose. Every time we send out a message to a group, a list or an individual person, our name appears on their mobile screen and we find it as a way of reassuring our friends that we remember them.

No doubt many of the forwards we receive are interesting. Some are humorous, some are serious, some are informative, some are brain teasers, some are pranks, and some are sentimental stories and so many other genres of messages.

All these are perfectly OK. What worries me is the number of hoax messages that gets mindlessly forwarded. Every technology could be used for a good purpose or a bad purpose. So naturally we find that there are people who use these technologies for wrong purpose. They use it to propagate false information, pet ideologies and sometimes to manipulate the receiver to believe in some information which may not be true.

Sometimes, we receive some alarming message, such as a bomb threat, a virus outbreak or a disaster warning.  When we receive such messages, we instantly tend to forward it to our friends or groups, as a way of saying we care. But most often these messages are hoax and it just triggers a panic button, causing more harm than good.

Sometimes we receive some messages, which seem to be beneficial to the society and we tend to forward these messages with a good intention that the information will be of use to our friends and relatives, but again the fact is most of these are misleading.

Few months back, I received a forward stating that, “If you have left over food, after any marriage functions or party, you can dial a particular number and inform them about the excess food. They will come and collect the food and pass it on to the poor people who are hungry for food”. I felt that it was a good cause and I wanted to forward it to my circle of friends. But before that, I thought let me call the number and check out more details about this. So, I called this number. To my shock the phone call was attend by one police personnel. It was a police hotline number. When I asked the person him about this, he was not aware and he became suspicious about my call and started pondering me for more details. After, I explained everything clearly he understood the context and warned me not to believe in such hoax messages and not to mindlessly forward such messages. It was a good learning for me.

So irrespective of either it is a good message or a bad message, please take caution before forwarding. People can easily manipulate the truth, by creating false evidence. Half-baked knowledge is more dangerous than lies. Don’t believe any messages, on the face of it. Do some research on the internet and find the truth.

Let us make sure we do not engage in mindless forwarding.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Sep 2014

EXPRESSED INCLUSION

A few days back one of my friend’s daughter got married. He is quiet close to me, yet somehow I did not receive the wedding invitation.I was quiet surprised that I did not receive the invitation card. As I was out of country a few days prior to the wedding, I guessed he might have come to invite me, but because our house was closed he could have gone back, hoping to call on me some other day. He might have later forgot and got busy with the other wedding arrangements. So, I did not take it as an issue.

Moreover, I did not have any second thought of attending the wedding, as I felt that an invitation card is just a formality and as a good friend it was not necessary to expect such formalities.

Just a day before the wedding, he called me and asked, whether I received the wedding invitation. I told him, that I have not received the invitation, but that is not a cause of worry as I have already decided to come for the wedding. He said that he has missed out by some mistake and immediately rushed me an invitation card.The wedding ended well and he and his family where very happy that we came. In case, I had thought that he has ignored me or neglected me and had stopped myself from going, I would have created a dent in the relationship, irrespective of whose mistake it was.

A few days later, I happened to take a psychometric test called FIRO-B which stands for Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation Behaviour. This test was very revealing of my relationship behaviour. Through the test, we are able torank our relationship behaviour under 6 classifications, as follows.

1.      Expressed Inclusion: Initiates interaction with others.

2.      Wanted Inclusion: Wants to be included by others.

3.      Expressed Control: Tries to control others.

4.      Wanted Control: Wants to be controlled by others.

5.      Expressed Affection: Tries to be close and personal with others.

6.      Wanted Affection: Wants others to be close and personal with me.

In this article, I wish to share my insights based on the first 2 classifications; i.e “Expressed Inclusion” Vs “Wanted Inclusion.”

This test revealed that my score on Expressed Inclusion was higher than on Wanted Inclusion, which means that I do not really wait for someone to come and ask me to join, an event or activity. If I feel it is important or interesting, I voluntarily go and join. This wedding incident that I have narrated here is a classic example of this. I Expressed my Inclusion, in the wedding function, by not waiting to be invited.

If we ponder over, we would realise that, very often in life, we miss out on some great experiences, by waiting to be invited. This small stumbling block called EGO, really restricts us from doing the things we would like to.

If you have been thinking, that you have not received a call from one of your close friend for a long time, just stop waiting for the call and make that call yourself and say, “Hi! Just called to check, if everything is OK with you”.  Your friend would be more than happy, to receive your call and probably say, that he too has been waiting for your call.

If you have been wanting to develop a social circle in a new city, don’t wait for someone to come and invite you. Just check out, the social clubs such as Jaycees, Rotary or Lions in your neighbourhood and get enrolled asa member.

If you have been wanting to learn something new don’t wait for someone to come and suggest a learning programme, just check out from one of the many sources such as friends, internet or yellow pages and sure you would find an apt programme as per your interest.

Break the ice as quickly as possible, so that the ice does not keep freezing more and more. The quicker you initiate, the quicker you start gaining.

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. We need to make out life meaningful. In order to do that, we have to make ourselves useful to the world. We can make ourselves useful to this world, only by volunteering to do good things. We may not be able to initiate every noble thing, but when someone is doing something good let us not wait to be called, rather let us go and volunteer ourselves to support the cause.

This quote aptly reaffirms this: “We are not as happy as we ought to be, because we build more walls and less bridges in our relationships.”Our relationships will get healthier and life will become more meaningful, when we learn to Express Inclusion rather than Wanting Inclusion

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Aug 2014

What we can learn from the Filipinos

Last month, I had the opportunity to travel to Philippines to visit my son, who has gone there to pursue his medical education. The name of the place I visited is Davao, which is the largest city in Philippines in terms of geographical area and 3rd largest in terms of population. Davao is considered as the cleanest city with the lowest crime ratein Philippines, which means it is a safe place for overseas travellers.

Philippines is a nature lover’s paradise with beautiful beaches and bountiful greenery making it an ideal tourist destination.

I have always believed in the philosophy, that there is always something to learn from anyone and everyone, in the world. Every country has its own unique cultural identity, which makes it different from others. So, I was having a keen eye on finding, what we could learn from the Filipinos.

What striked me most was the level of hospitality and courtesy, the Filipinos show towards their guests.

The Ministry of Indian tourism, has as its marketing tag line, “AtithiDevoBhava”which means 'Guest is God'. The idea is to emphasise that we need to treat foreign tourist with great respect and courtesy.But in reality,quiet a number of foreign tourists who visit India, go back home with bitter experiences, of being cheated by auto/cab driversor a bad attitude of the tour guide or the uncourteous behaviour of the public.I felt this tag line,more aptly suits the Filipinos. They really, seem to treat their Guests as Gods. They look up at guests with utmost respect. The way they smile, greet and show courtesy is truly beautiful.

As I walk into the hotel, right from the security, the bell boy, the receptionist, the helpers all greet with a smile, bow down and wish the guest in a rhythmic tone. The way they say “Good morning, Sir” or “Good morning, Mam” looks more like a song, rather than just a phrase.The first time, it looked artificial, but over the course of time I realised that it was the same pattern, wherever I went.It sounded nice and makes us feels good.

The Filipinosseem to be veryhumble people. Though they have Filipino as their native language, everyone seems to be comfortable in speaking in English, which makes it easier to communicate. They speak in a soft, pleasing tone. I did not see a single Filipino speaking in an aggressive or harsh tone. They are extremely polite and courteous.

Though most of the shops are located in the big malls, even in the street side shops I did not find bargaining anywhere.This to a great extent saves the anxiety of travellers, in terms of not being exploited.

The cab drivers get friendly with us, by initiating a conversation, as we get on with our travel. They also care to open the door and wait for the customer to be seated comfortably, before they move the car.

Whatever duty they perform, they seem to do it with a smile. There is no frustration or bad attitude towards the work they are doing. When we give them a tip, they gratefully acknowledge it, by saying “God bless”.  It does not look like just words from their lips, but deep from their heart. I could see the level of poverty in their eyes, when they gratefully acknowledge the money given to them. Philippines is very much a poor country like India.Though their currency rate is marginally higher to the Indian currency, the lifestyle of the Filipinos depict that they are much poorer than India. Still they are a bunch of happy people, from whom there is a lot we can learn.

To sum up, the good things we can learn from the Filipinos are:

·        Showing respect to all;

·        Greeting everyone with a smile;

·        Being polite and courteous with Guests;

·        Always speaking in a soft, pleasing tone;

·        An Attitude of Gratitude; and finally

·        No matter what you are going through in your life, present yourself to the world with a smile and right attitude.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Jul 2014