We are All Equals

The PALMS 100^th programme was a grand gala success. Mr.Maaney V.Paul motivated the audience by his inspiring and heart touching speech. While having a informal chat with him, he discussed on a thought provoking concept called the human layers. I would like to share my reflection on those thoughts.

Human being can be primarily divided into three layers – the physical layer, the mental layer and the spiritual layer.

The physical layer is about our physical appearance, our material comforts and the social status we enjoy thereby. The physical layer differentiates us from one person to another. It either makes one feels superior or inferior to another.

Very often, we describe a person by his physical attributes. We say a short, fat man with a bald head or a dark girl with squint eyes, so on and so forth. This description of our self may not be so comfortable, but that is how the world looks at us. Unfortunately, not every man is handsome and not every woman is beautiful. Many of us find it difficult, to come out of this mind trap, and this to a great extent limits our confidence level. The confidence level ultimately determines our success level, as well.

Then comes the material status, in terms of the car we own, the house we live in , the property we possess and our life style. A man tries to establish his supremacy, in this world through his material status. The ego plays a very strong part in this layer.  If you look at it more deeply, you will realize that this desire has been there with us right from our childhood days. As kids we wanted to possess the best toys and wanted to show off to our friends, our newly acquired belongings. We used to take pride in our material possessions.  Is it not? Having grown up as adults, the game has not stopped. The game is the same, but only the toys have changed; instead of toy cars we have real  cars, instead of the plastic building blocks we own real buildings, instead of those battery operated toys we now like to possess the most modern electronic gadgets like laptop, mobile phone etc.

The mental layer is our second forte.  This is the not only about acquiring knowledge, but exhibiting our intelligence.  We learned and earned a number of degrees and proudly added them beside our name in our visiting  cards, to prove that we were one among the elite few. It gave us a great sense of pride, to call ourselves as an educated person, especially in a country like India, where the illiteracy level is so high. We like to be branded as intellectuals, think tanks, and master minds. We  gain a great sense of satisfaction, winning a intellectual argument and take pride in exhibiting our knowledge, even while discussing with friends and family members.

 Our tendency to dominate others either physically or mentally always prevails.

It is absolutely OK to desire to be rich, to desire a nice life style, to want to look more attractive, to become more knowledgeable, etc. The problem comes only when we say, I want to be richer than so and so….. or I want to prove someone, that I am greater than him in such and such a way. When in the name of comparison, we degrade somebody, we are committing a great human sin.  There is no need to look at somebody as an inferior in order to feel that we are  superior.

It is only at the third layer, i.e the spiritual layer there is no tendency to dominate. In this layer, there is nothing masking your true identity. Here is where we come in contact with our source and realize that we are no bigger than any body else. In this layer, we are no different from a beggar on the street or a madman in asylum. It is the same soul. Every soul experiences the same feelings of happiness, sadness, excitement, depression, fear, pain, anger, jealousy and so on. When we come to realize ourselves at this layer, our ego drops and we realize that we are a part of the whole and we have a responsibility to treat every one as equals.

It is good to often remind ourselves in this layer. Maybe in our daily prayer.  In a state of total surrender to our creator, let us remember this beautiful quote, “Once the game is over the king and the pawn goes to the same box”.

We are born equals and we will die as equals. So when we live, let us respect each human being, for what they are and not for who they are.

Happy Reading,
  

D.Senthil Kannan

Article dated April 2009

Let Us Not Turn Blind, To Blindness

I came across this piece of statistical information, from one of the websites, which I wish to share with you with a fond hope that you may like to consider the idea of donating your eye, after your death.

Eye donation is still not very popular among us Indians, because it involves an action after our death and very often considered a  social taboo.

 “There are currently an estimated 15 million blind people in India. 6.8 million of these suffer from corneal blindness with vision less than 6/60 in at least one eye, and of these, about 1 million have bilateral corneal blindness. If the present trend continues, it is expected that the number of corneally blind individuals in India will increase to 8.4 million in 2010 and 10.6 million by 2020. Of these atleast 3 million can be benefited by corneal transplantation. Thus, to effectively meet the ever growing demand, we need around 150,000 corneal transplants to be performed every year. However, the current supply is only 22000 corneas per year. “

Now this gives a great scope for many blind people to see, if more number of people volunteered to donate their eyes after death.

Of the many type of physically handicapped people, I come across in life, I have had a special empathy for the blind. Eyes are the windows to the world and it is quiet unimaginable to live a life, not experiencing the beauty of seeing God’s creations.

In my school days, I was a member of the Interact Club – the junior wing of the Rotary Club. During this period as a member, I used to visit the blind school on specified days and spend some time with inmates of the blind school. I used to serve their need of communicating with their loved ones, by writing letters on their behalf. As they dictate word by word,           I pen them down in inland letter sheets or post cards and send it out. In these moments, I have been able to experience their pain and emotions, as they share their thoughts and feelings through their letters.                    I 

cherished doing such acts of service, for it  gave me a great amount of soul satisfaction. It is at that age, I decided that I will donate my eyes to a blind person, when I die.

In my first year of college, on my 19^th birthday, I visited the Sankara Nethralaya Hospital at Chennai and informed them about my willingness to donate my eyes. They gave me a form and asked me to fill it up. After which they gave me a small card, which says, “I am an eye donor” with the name and phone number of the hospital. They asked me to retain this card, in my wallet.  It is like carrying ‘a will in your packet’.              I felt as if I have done a heroic deed, on that day. Only a little later in life, I realized that donating our eyes is not in our hands, but in the hands of our family members.

So along with donating our eyes, comes two additional responsibilities.

No.1, we need to educate our spouse and children the need for eye donation and our desire to do so. Because after our death it is they who need to take the action of calling the local hospital to come and collect our eyes. The eyes has to be removed within 6 hours of a person’s death. There may be a lot of emotional turmoil in the family, at that moment, yet they have to be calm and composed enough to willfully discharge our wish, and prove to be the real heros.

No.2, we need to take care of the eyes, we have volunteered to donate, by eating the right food, taking good rest and keeping it in ideal condition, so that it is useable.

Donating our eyes could be one of the noblest act of service we could do, because it can light up someone’s world with infinite possibilities. Let our eyes, that would otherwise be burned or buried along with our corpse, go for a better cause.

If this article could convince atleast a few readers to donate their eyes, I feel I have travelled a extra mile in  spreading the noble cause.

Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan

 Article dated Mar'09

My Key Learnings

It has been my practice, that at the end of every year, I sit in silent contemplation and think of the major happenings in my life. I go through the track of events that happened in my life from the start of the year till the end, without any judgment whether the event was good or bad. Some events would have made us stronger, while some would have made as weaker. Some events would have influenced us in a positive way and some in a negative way. But more than just the events, what I sincerely try to figure out from this exercise is what are my key learnings for the year. As I did the same this year and my mind could deliver me three key learnings that I would like to share with you. To brief:·         Learning 1: I don’t have to reply to every question asked.
·         Learning 2: I don’t have to prove the world, what I am capable of.
·         Learning 3: I cannot satisfy everyone at the same time.
 Learning 1: We have always been conditioned to the thought, that whenever someone asks us a question, we need to give them an instant reply. It is probably due to the subconscious fear that, if we don’t reply, people will consider us immodest or incapable.  What I have realized recently is that we need not answer every question that has been asked to us. It is no more a school, and it is no more a teacher – student relationship, where every question carries a mark. There are times, when we don’t want to or don’t feel like answering a question. Many times a question can be asked, with an intention to trigger our response, which further leads to an unworthy argument. Sometimes, it is so disgusting that people keep asking us questions, with an intention to dig out, some of our close guarded secrets. In these situations, most often what we tend to do is give an answer with a sense of embarrassment or tell a lie to escape from the question.
 I have now learnt that I need not succumb to such annoying questioning. I think there is a third and better alternative, and that is to return a smile, as an answer to the questioner without telling a word. By doing so, most often, the questioner understands that we are not interested in answering the question and leave it there. But if he persists, you can just change the topic to something else. Learning 2:  We all share a common feeling and that is the feeling to prove the world, what we are capable of. We believe that the whole world is looking up at us with so much of anticipation and we need to prove them what we are capable of and if we  don’t prove them, they may think we are a  failure in life. But, if you look at it closely, you will realize that what you  call the “whole world” is hardly nothing more than a 100 people, who are your family members, your friends, your relatives, your colleagues and your business associates.
 Now, I have a new perceptive. The people, who I like to be called as my world, should be the ones who know what I am capable of and not those who need me to demonstrate my capabilities time and again to prove myself. I am matured enough to decide what to do and when to do. I don’t have to anymore do things, for the sake of proving my capability. I know my own capabilities and incapabilities. I know my strengths and weakness and because I know it, I try to spend more time focusing on how to overcome my limitations, rather than keep proving my strengths. Learning 3:  Our priorities in life keep changing. At different point of time, different things and different people become important to us. Life is expansive by nature and we need to be open to accommodate new events and new people in our life. When this happens, we need to accomodate the interest of more people, and therefore sharing our valuable resources such as our time, our efforts with everyone equally becomes very difficult. Ultimately, we end up not being able to satisfy everyone at the same time.  This leads us to feel guilty.
 What I now realize is that this desire to satisfy everyone at the same time is extremely stressful on me. Therefore the best alternative, is to choose the right thing to do at the right time for the right person and not worry about others. I trust that the people who know me, will understand me. They will know that I will be there for them, when they truly need me.  I allow them to trust me at their own will.                       I believe that, I have a positive balance in the emotional bank accounts of the people I have been close with. A little withdrawal, then and there will not cause much harm. After all, what is more important in today’s world  is quality time and quantity time. 

Happy Reading

 

D.Senthil Kannan

Article date Feb 2009

 

This Way, that Way or Your Way

I came across this interesting poem, titled, “The Paradoxical Commandments” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. A article worth re-reading , chewing and digesting this timeless wisdom.

“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered; Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;  Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable;

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest mind; Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs; Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight; Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them; Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth; Give the world the best you have anyway.”

There are two types of people in this world, the externally referenced and the internally referenced people.

The  externally referenced people are those who constantly seek the approval of their family, their friends, their peers, their surrounding. For example, when they wear a new dress, they ask others does it go well on them; if they made a public speech, they ask some friends, did they speak well; when they make a decision, they look for a reassurance from someone. They are constantly looking for a feedback, for their actions.

The internally referenced people are those who make their own choice, irrespective of what others think or say. Whatever they feel that is good, they do it. Though they take feedbacks, they do not alter their behaviour, if they are not convinced within themselves.

Quiet interestingly, it has been observed that mostly, it is the internally referenced people who become leaders. It is those who possess a lot of internal conviction than external approval, who dare to become leaders. The people who seek approval, lose their enthusiasm and vigour when someone gives a negative feedback. They are so much worried about external criticism, that they very often do not take a initiative. We all know that greatest of scientific findings were initially criticized, condemned or mocked upon, but it is only those who braved against these odds, have become successful.

We are all a blend of both the qualities, but the trait that dominates our persona, is what dictates our life.

This poem is a classical illustration, that no matter what others say about you, you got to believe in your own self and realize your authentic potential.

Let the goodness in us, forever continue, no matter whether the world appreciates it or not. Be good, not to please the world, but to please your own conscience.

Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan
Article dated Jan'09

Are Absolute Values, Obsolete?

Gone are the days, when people who lived on this earth, were “Value Personified”. When we think of TRUTH, the name that comes to our mind is Harichandra, when we think of NON VIOLENCE, the name is Gandhiji, When we think of SERVICE, the name is Mother Teresa. There are many such real life examples, who have lived their life, for the value they cherished close to their heart. For them, their value, was more important than their life. If it was a choice between their life and their value, they would decide to give up their life and not their value.

Are such personalities relevant today? Is there still a scope for absolute values?

In the modern world, most of us agree, it is OK to go against those time bound values in order to reap some gain. We have different terms by which we call this; Survival technique, Adaptability, Being Smart, so on and so forth.  It is ultimately our intelligence,  that has got better off our emotional convictions. Even if somebody pinpoints to us, that what we are doing is wrong, we shoot back with the words, “Hey, You….. which century do you belong to, come on, get practical”

Honesty today means different things to different people.  There seems to be different levels of honesty.

Level 1: I will be 100% honest and transparent. I will never say a lie.

Level 2  : I will never say a lie, but I will hide the truth, if there is a need.

Level 3 : If telling a lie, can save me, my family or my friend from a dangerous situation, I will.

Level 4 : I will tell petty lies, to get petty things done. It is not my intention to cheat anyone, but telling such small lies, makes my life a lot  easier.

Level 5: I know what is important to me and I don’t want to loose out on opportunities, in the name of being clean and honest. At the end of the day it is only me, who has to fend myself.

There could be many such levels, that seems appropriate to different people. So, you cannot just label somebody as dishonest. All you can do is, assess for yourself the level of honesty, of the person and deal with him accordingly. Nobody likes to be condemned as being dishonest. They have their own justifiable reasons.  It is just a matter of how much you are agreeable with that particular person. Your level of agreeability, will depend upon which level of honesty, you belong to.

Talking about honesty, I would like to share a incident that touched my heart, way back in 1992, when I was studying in London. During the weekends, I used to attend a class on philosophy. There used to be a refreshment break. The way people bought and paid for the refreshments was really interesting. Just like a buffet, a table is placed with different bowls, some having cakes, some having cookies, and few other bowls with other snacks. Below every bowl the price of the product is written, such as £0.25, £0.50 etc. Plates are kept in one corner. The person picks up the plate and moves along the line. He picks up whatever snack he wants and just calculates in his mind the price of the item. At the end of these food bowls, there is a glass bowl with some loose change in it.  It is something like an “open cash box”. The person puts the exact amount in the bowl or puts the currency note and picks up the balance change from the bowl. The beauty is that there is no one to monitor, what is dropped in and what is taken out. A classic example of honesty and integrity, that I have seen in real life.

I was awestruck by such a wonderful practice. I imagined, what would be the result if something like this was practiced in our country and I could not hope for a positive answer, that day. 16 years, has now passed since then, and I am still waiting for a positive answer.

 Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article dated Dec'08

Why We Do, What We Do

Most of us would have somewhere heard this famous parable of two brothers, which goes something like this. A father had two sons. The elder son was a drunkard and a notorious person. In the contrary the younger son was a very disciplined man, and a teetotaler. People were surprised how there could be two different types of children for the same father and out of curiosity, one person went and asked the elder son, “why are you into the habit of regular drinking?”, for which the elders son replied; “my father was a drunkard and so am I”.  The person who questioned, then went to the younger brother and asked, “how is that inspite of your father being a drunkard, you are such a nice person?”, The younger son replied, “Because my father was a drunkard, I have seen all the troubles my mother and my family has faced and that made me decide that I will not drink”. The incident is the same, but the outcome of the incident differs from person to person, based on his perception of life.

Anything we do in life, needs a lot of emotional conviction. With mental conviction we may be able to do something for sometime, but only with emotional conviction we can do something all the time.

Let me draw an example, from my own life. I go for my morning walk regularly. I do my yoga exercises, regularly. As much as possible I try not to skip this routine exercise schedule. For people from outside it may look like, I am just  fanatic about my exercise schedule, but to me the reason for this type of conviction is a lot  different. I am in fact gripped by a fear, which motivates me. Sometimes fear serves as a better motivation than appreciation.

My father is a diabetic and he takes regular insulin. It is painful to see the daily injections he has to prick on himself. Doctors say, walking is a good antidote to diabetes.

I have seen my mother suffer as a bed ridden person for four years, before she died, due to her lower spine problem. Yoga, is a good antidote for stiff back, because these exercises helps in improving the flexibility.

Today, doctors claim that most of our diseases are genetic. Given this perspective, it is better to practice the philosophy of “prevention is better than cure”. In some cases we may not be able to avoid, but we may be able to postpone. There are so many things that happen beyond our control, but it is also true that we can to a great level, have  influence on our health, by developing health eating habits, getting into a exercise schedule.

I caught the first spark of intelligence, on “prevention is better than cure” from one of my staff, many years ago. When we used to order for coffee, he used to say without sugar, all the time. This gave me a impression that he was a diabetic. On questioning, he replied, ”I am not a diabetic; but my father is. I am just trying to postpone my diabetic inclination, as far as I can”. His words had a lasting impact on me.

There are days I feel a bit lazy and try to avoid, waking up early in the morning, but the thought of future pain and suffering, makes me rise and go.  And once I am on, I enjoy my morning walk, more than anything else. I enjoy the gentle breeze, the soft rays of sunlight, my personal time with nature, and breathing in loads of fresh oxygen from the trees, that energizes me.

Not just about health, my friends. Anything we do in life, we need the emotional conviction, in order to keep going. The stronger the conviction, the easier it gets.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article dated Nov'08

Are Changes Making Our Life, Better or Bitter

We are living in an exciting period of time, where we come across so many changes in our day to day life. We are experiencing things that people have never experienced before. For instance three great inventions has drastically changed the way of life. Computers, Internet and Mobile Phone. Well, with every invention coming in there is always a debate whether it is a boon or curse. But not withholding our opinions, inventions continue to happen. Medical research has advanced to such great high levels, that scientist are finding ways to modify your genetic patterns.

For thousands of years, humans have walked around in an environment that was different from the one we move around in today. I read a nice quote which said, “ In those day, people did not have watches, but they had time. But today, everyone has watches but no one has the time. It is a irony. Our ancestors spent their time in a world that was outdoor-oriented, where family was the focus, where survival was tied to hands-on work, and where not much changed. Advances in technology and changes in their way of life occurred, but when they did, the change was slow and gradual. People had time to adapt.

Today, advances in technology are occurring at a rate that we have never experienced before. Within the time span of just one decade or less, an entire way of life can be shaped and altered. Just about when you seem to get familiar with a gadget, a new gadget comes. Look at the way the mobile phones has evolved. From the size of a brick to something that is invisible outside your palms.

In the beginning of the 1990s, the average household had only one telephone and no experience with computers. When something broke, it was possible to fix most items with your own hands. Now, just one decade later, people find it strange if you can't be reached at most hours and locations on your cell phone, if you don't have e-mail and Internet access, and if your business doesn't have a web page. Since computers are now being incorporated into many items, when something breaks we can only get out the phone book to call the technical guy; we are no longer capable of fixing things with our own hands. These changes represent not only changes in our technology, but also changes in the amount of control we feel over our own lives. It is exciting that our style of life changes so quickly, but at the same time it also makes us feel somewhat lost and disoriented. Though there has been an increase in comfort and convenience, people are feeling less happy and less satisfied than they were a decade before.

To win the battle against unhappiness, we need to be alert to the patterns in how we approach our interactions, people, our environment, and our everyday activities. This alertness and awakeness in life is the most reliable tool we can use in the pursuit of happiness.

 Happy Reading,

D.Senthil Kannan

Article dated Oct'08