Watch Your Words, Before You Speak

Judgement is a activity that we unconsciously do, at every moment of our life. It is said, that the moment we meet a new person, our mind just takes 10 seconds to form a impression about the person. He might not have even spoken a word or shook hands with us. His face, his dressing, the colour and texture of his skin, his body language, communicates something about the person to us, based on which we make our  judgement.

This process of continuous judging has greatly contributed to what we have achieved or where we have reached today. All the choices we have taken in our life is a result of our judgement. We judge a person, before making him our friend. We judge a education programme, before making a career decision. We judge a company, before making a job decision. So every moment of our life, we are judging.

This process of judgement is good for us, but what happens when we pass our judgement to others. Is it right or wrong.? For example, many a time, we go for a movie and come out saying that the movie was horrible. We go to a hotel and come out saying the food tasted awkward. We go to a garment store and say the collection was not good. We make bold judgements, not realizing the negative effects it can have on people and business. We need to give room for perception. The way we look at things is not the only right way. People may have different tastes and different preferences. Of course, we have all the right to say, that I did not like the movie; I did not enjoy the meal; the showroom did not have the garments with colour of my choice., etc. But quite often we do not do that. We just give our verdict, without a second thought.

It is not right on our part to ruin somebody’s business, by our negative comments. Our words catch up like wild fire. Negative comments reach out faster than the positive ones. You would have observed this.

Now, imagine someone telling something negative about your business to others and think about the impact it could have on your business.

I have found in a few restaurants this caption written on a board or a wall “Tell the good things about us to others and the bad things about us, to ourselves” ( in tamil). This might be a fitting job to do when we encounter a unpleasant experience or a unsatisfactory experience. Leave your thoughts and feelings, there and move on. If he changes, it is good for him and if he does not, let him decide his own dooms day. Why should you?. Most of the time, it would be resolved. Because any sensible business owner, who wants to improve his business, would look forward to these type of negative feedback from his customers, which will give him a opportunity to improve and make his products or services likeable to his customers. In a highly competitive business environment, only those who adapt to the customers can survive.

So next time, before you pass a judgement think. It only takes a few seconds to make a comment, but its effect may be drastic. I am not talking this as a person who is away from this sins, but as a confession of a culprit, who is looking forward to change this behaviour. I take effort to catch myself aware of such situations and try to change myself, but habits die hard.  However with a conscious effort to change for the better and with practice the desired behaviour can be achieved.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article dated Jan 2007

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY

A few days back, while I was travelling from Chennai to Tuticorin by train, one incident happened which kept me thinking for a while. As you would be aware the food vendors, pick up food orders in the train and deliver it to us at some particular station. So, I ordered for a food parcel and the same was delivered to me after Chengelput station. The vendor asked me for Rs.30/-, which I happily paid.

One of my co - passenger, who had not been talking with me till then, asked me a question. He asked what was the price printed on the wrapper box of the food parcel. I saw and said it is Rs.27/-. He asked me, why I paid Rs.30/- and did not demand the balance amount of Rs.3/- from the vendor. I did not have an answer. Infact, I myself had not noticed that there is difference of amount being charged and the price printed on the pack. Even if I had seen, I am not a person who would have insisted on the change, because of my general generous behaviour.

He told me, “You look like an educated person and you itself do not question such things. If literate people like you don’t question, what is the plight of the illiterate people, who do not know to read or write”. He added that people were exploited because they do not dare to question the wrongs happening around them. I did not feel hurt by his remarks, but I felt quiet guilty for a moment. The guilt arised out of his words, “literate people like you”.  For a moment, it opened my eyes to a fact. It showed the amount of faith and trust the common man has on the educated segment, who he thinks will take India out of the darkness to light.  In this case, it was not the meagre Rs.3/- that mattered, but the question of social responsibility.

It is not OK, to just keep blaming the politicians and higher authorities for the mishappenings around us. It is perhaps because we succumb to such situations, so easily, more and more mistakes are happening. It does not necessarily mean, that we should pull a fight with each and everyone, to justify our rights, but trying to be assertive enough to stress our rights.

A dialogue in the movie, Spiderman goes likes this. “With great power comes great responsibility”. I was able to relate this to the incident that happened.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Dec 2006

THE SPIRIT OF FRIENDSHIP

There is a far deeper meaning to friendship, than what we normally perceive. While many of us may feel the primary reason for having friends is for social interaction and entertainment, if we look more closely to what it means we will realize that the reasons go way beyond that.

Friendship is not only about spending time with like-minded people so that one doesn’t get bored on a Saturday evening; its purpose is far more meaningful.  It is about love and understanding.  It stretches beyond our family relationships and lends us a support that is different.  It is about a different kind of love.

With our families we are sometimes wary about discussing our fears or difficulties, but with friends often it is easier to discuss our feelings, as there remains a space that is personal yet with fewer expectations.  It is a space that is built on sharing – sharing of our joys and sorrows, of discussion and reasoning, and many other things that urge us to open our hearts to others.

It is in friendship that we also learn to be less judgemental and to be accepting of other people’s differences and eccentricities and to be open to loving our friends even if they don’t think like us or share our philosophies.  Friendship teaches us to be helpful.  To give support and a listening ear to our mates, to be there for them in times of need or celebration, and to be part of their lives as a person that gives them comfort and who is able to understand and accept them for who they are.

Cherish and celebrate the spirit of friendship, everyday.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Nov 2006

FINANCIAL ADVICE

In this issue, I just want to share two of  my recent learnings from the TYCOON programme I attended recently. Jci. Sen. Sunil Kumar is not only a  excellent trainer, but also a  consultant with wide experience.

Information 1:

He said in the future banks will give personal loans, based on your credit card transactions and nothing else. He said the credit card transaction statement is a far better proof of your ability to pay, than your Income Tax records or your Networth statement. The financial integrity of the person can be easily judged, by taking a closer look at the 3 years record of your credit card statement. This is what is happening in advanced countries like USA and Europe He therefore suggested, that we have a credit card and try to pay most of our bills by credit card and also to settle the credit card bills promptly.

Information 2:

He said, take a insurance to the extent of the loans you have. For example, you have a loan of Rs.20 lakhs, for yourself or your own business, then we should have a insurance policy to the extent of the same amount, so that in the unfortunate event of our death, our children do not have to face the beating. This means, your family does not have to dispose any asset in order to clear your loan. Your family does not have to face the liability of the loan. If there is a insurance cover, the insurance will take care of your debts and the loan will not affect the existing life standard of your family. We strive hard for their well being and we certainly do not want them to be in trouble at any point of time. The next important thing is, this also gives you the freedom to play the business/ money game without big hesitations.

I think the strength of the positive side of life depends upon our preparedness for the negative things.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Oct 2006

SMILE – The forgotten language of the human heart

Quiet recently, I read an article , which talked about cultures that smile the most and can you guess in what place in India was. It was 124^th on the list. Denmark was No.1. What does this imply?

Does this mean that Indians are a set of serious people?  

Does it mean that we have a poor sense of humour?

Does it mean, we are so busy that we do not find the time to smile?  Of course not.

What then is stopping us from smiling. I think it is because we attach too much of ego to our conscious living. We smile only at a selected list of people, who we think or near and dear to us. We never get to smile at the waiter at the restaurant, but we are fast to complain that the waiter is not courteous. We do not smile at a co-passenger on a bus or train, with whom we travel a long distance. We are sometimes comfortable travelling a few hundred miles without even speaking a single word and we say people are not friendly. Remember, the good old nature’s law applies in this well, “ What you sow, so will you reap”. Share a smile and see how many smile responses you get. Start from today. Be happy to know, that smiling is a learned behaviour. This gives you great scope, to think and start afresh on cultivating the habit of smiling . It is just  about consciously lifting the two muscles on the side of your mouth.

Smile is the greatest gift bestowed upon human beings. Animals don’t smile. A smile is meant as a friendly acknowledgement of another member of the human race. So let us start smiling. Don’t wait for the other person to smile first. Be the first to smile. You have nothing to lose. You only have a lot to gain. Smile at the watchman, driver, tea stall vendor, receptionist, client, whoever you share physical space and time with. Most of our faces look better when we smile. Don’t be shy, show your teeth and speak the only language that connects the whole world.

 Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan
Article dated Sep'06

APPRECIATION - THE GREATEST MOTIVATOR

Of all the things, I see there is one incentive which I feel really works with everyone. Maybe because, that is the most rarest to find today or may be very few people are willing to share it with others. It does not cost them anything, but people are still so reluctant to give it away. This incentive works great magic with your spouse, your children, your family members, your colleagues, your subordinates and even your superiors. It has always been assumed that the most important factor that drives a person is the money or the fame. I am surprised how this thing, that I am talking about has never been thought about. Infact, I feel that this is the greatest motivator, of all. It is called APPRECIATION.

How many of us, really use this on a daily basis. How many of us know that this can be a effective tool to motivate, your team when all other resources are running dry. Appreciating people is a art, which we need to cultivate in our lives. It is also our moral duty to teach our children the “art of appreciating”. 

A country like ours, which has such abundance of resources, lacks in this great resource called appreciation. If you ask a parent, why they do not appreciate their children for the marks they get, they may say, that they expect their children to perform better and reserve the appreciation for the day, the child gets 100/100, which is never going to happen without the small, small appreciations the child earns for its small, small achievements.

Start to appreciate others and see the benefits, for yourself.  The results would be far more than you would have imagined.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan

Article Dated Aug 2006

Put the shark in your Tank

As we reach the age of 40+, we all tend to get into a well settled attitude which limits our progress any further. We have a house, we have a car and we have a regular income and then we start getting into the comfort zone. This comfort zone is in fact a warning signal, for people who want to live their life to the fullest.

An interesting short story, explains this phenomenon, very nicely. The story goes like this:  “Japanese love to eat fish. The age old method of fishing was that fishermen went into the deep sea to catch fish, but by the time they returned to the shore all the fished were dead and so the fish became stale. The Japanese thought of a new idea and send frozen ice cubes to cover the fish, but still the frozen fish were not as tasty as live fish. Then they worked on a new idea of creating big water tanks. As and when the fishes were caught, they put them in this tank of water, so that the fishes were alive till it reaches the shore. However as the space inside the tank was not very big, the fishes used to jump and swim for sometime and after finding no way out, they just remained calm. The Japanese were not still satisfied with the quality of the fish, because the fishes were not so active, like what we find in the sea. After so much of thought, one person suggested a idea that made it possible for the Japanese to get the fish the way they wanted. He put a small SHARK inside the tank. The presence of the Shark, kept all the fishes active, so as to save themselves being eaten by the shark.

In fact, it is the problems that keep us alive. So, start looking for as opportunities in disguise. Put the SHARK IN YOUR TANK.

Happy Reading,

D. Senthil Kannan
Article dated July 2006