One of the forgotten values of today is, “Obedience”. Obedience
is an important value which is very muchintegrated with our Indian culture. I
personally think, “Obedience is the mother of all values”, because without
obedience, no other value can be inculcated in a person. Therefore, it is the
base value, on which all other values are built.
Imagine a world without obedience.
·
How would it be if no one
follows any rules.?
·
How would it be if there is
no right and wrong?
Yes. The world will be
filled with confusion, chaos and ultimately distress. It was with this purpose
of bringing order in our lives, rules and laws were made, so that every human
being in this world is able to lead a fair and safe life. Having made these
rules and laws, it is the responsibility of every citizen of this country to
respect the law and obey them. If not,
that person will become a threat to the society.
I come to hear a lot of parents lamenting, ,“My child
does not obey me. In those days, I used to blindly obey what my parents told me”.
It is so true. I too belong to that
generation, where I have been unconditionally obedient to the words of my father,
mother, teacher and even my uncles and aunts, irrespective of whether I liked
it or not. But those days are no more. So, why this shift?Let us explore. I
think there are a few reasons to this and few ways to deal with them.
First and foremost, the word obedience has found a
negative connotation. Children tend to link obedience to slavery. They don’t like to be commanded, for it
hurts their ego. They feelobeyingthe instructions given by someone, tampers
their self-esteem.They need to be educated that, being an obedient student or
obedient child, in no way demeans our value. Infact it only enhances our value.
The world praises Lord Rama, for being an obedient son. They have to be taught,
that if they want to command respect, they should learn to give respect and the
same is the case with obedience. In a corporate hierarchy, if you want your
subordinates to obey you, you should be willing to obey to your superiors.
Secondly, the generation of today are highly
intelligence as they have access to infinite information, at the click of a
mouse, which has increased their questioning ability. They need reason to be convinced, why they have to do, what they are
asked to do.The problem therefore is not the obeying part, but our
responsibility part in educating them, as to why a particular rule or order has
to be obeyed. Rather than making it as
command, tell them in a way that they are able to find reason. Also tell them
the negative consequence of what would happen if you didn't obey by the rules.
For example, you can say, “If you do not obey the traffic signal, while
crossing the road you may get hit by a truck which could cost your life or
permanent disability.”This will make them think.
Another main reason is that,children are not able to
look up at their parents as role models. They find duality in them. They find that their parents are not
practicing what they are preaching. In other words, parents insist that the
child should obey some family rules, but they themselves find them breaking it.
For example, if you make a family rule that no one should watch TV, for more
than an hour on weekdays, then that rule should apply toyou as well. Children
do not do what you say, they do what you do. So, to make your child obedient,
you need to be a good role model.
Obedience is the key to live a disciplined life. And a disciplined life
is a key to be successful in life. Therefore in order to make our children successful
in their life, we need to take the extra effort to inculcate the value of obedience
in their young minds, before it is too late for them to mend their ways.Also let us make them aware that if they do not follow
the law, they will be punished by law, because by breaking the law the person
is doing harm to others. Reasoning and fear, will have to be the driving
factor.
We can make it easy for them, by making a list of simple
things they need to obey on a daily basis, like they have to wake up early,
brush their teeth twice, put back the toys in the shelf once they finish
playing, be courteous to guests who come home, keeping the room tidy, or
waiting to cross the street. By educating our children, through simple ways, we
could help them to move from lawful obedience (external force) to wilful
obedience (inner force), which would do good for them in the long run.
Happy Reading.
D. Senthil Kannan
Article Dated Aug'12